Unbalanced Halves
by jack-ofall-tirades
Summary: Shang—as a rule—loathed confusion. Indecisiveness was to be avoided at all costs. Except, it seemed, for circumstances revolving around one Fa Ping (soldier) or Fa Mulan (hero of China). Nothing predictable, no guarantees: around her he could not quite find solid ground.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: No claim on characters, story, etc.

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Summary: After forging a friendship, discovering a secret, and one hell of an adventure, Li Shang struggles to understand where he stands with one brave and infuriating woman. A story of two hearts reconciling past ideas with future possibilities.

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Shang—as a rule—loathed confusion. As a grounded man of military he exercised quick judgment, and as the situation required, solved his problems with tactful grace to blunt force. Indecisiveness was to be avoided at all costs. Except, it seemed, for circumstances revolving around one Fa Ping (soldier) _or_ Fa Mulan (hero of China).

Training

As an untrained soldier, Ping was the Captain's nightmare. Though young and still in the gangly phases of youth, it was clear he would never cut an imposing figure—muscles lacking, hands un-calloused, even his features appeared delicate. He was a veritable pariah amongst his fellow recruits, and the level of disaster he exhibited during weapons training rivaled the potential danger of the Hun army itself. Although of all the tents to possibly destroy, Shang decided to overlook what was clearly a "flaw formed during canon construction". Chi-Fu seemed to find this explanation lacking, but did not pursue the issue past furious penmanship. With Ping, Shang saw battered bruises, slow improvement, and a substandard performance that was unacceptable for wartime. He made his decision to send the young Fa packing, and did not falter.

But when he exited his tent the next morning, it was clear that Captain Li Shang had grossly miscalculated. The men were gathered around shouting words of encouragement with looks of inspiration in their eyes. Ping was perched satisfactorily with the sun at his back and weights slung across his shoulder—proof that he had completed the task in its entirety. His eyes held a determined fire, which now that Shang recognized it, had been there all along. Training—and as if graced by the ancestors themselves— _Ping_ progressed in leaps and bounds. Even the men exhibited a level of camaraderie and began shaping into a semblance of soldiers. Having a man like Ping, who had before represented weakness and inspired loathing, succeed in such an impossible task became a rallying call. If someone like Ping could do something like that, who was to say the untested group of soldiers could yet pull through upcoming battles triumphant?

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(A/N: I will be expanding on some of the character development and adding side stories along the timeline/plot of the movie. Since I don't want these "setting the stage" entries to feel redundant or boring, they will be posted in small portions, with longer more in-depth chapters to come after the end of the movie timeline. Hope you will enjoy—Jack)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: No claim on characters, story, etc.

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Friendship

Friendship, like everything else with Ping, was unconventional. For Shang, friendship had never been easy. Or simple. Another tally to place in the mental category of "confusing".

At first, Shang denied any feelings of kinship towards the scrawny soldier. The boy was a walking accident, prone to fits of overly masculine bravado that were awkward for any and all involved parties. He was clumsy, his tent was pitched abysmally, and he had a habit of talking to himself. Granted, Shang was no expert at friendship. Whether by his father's reputation, his own military and educational prowess, or his at times prickly disposition, Shang had not relied on a friend for a very long time.

Ping's menace and Shang's authority had them set as constant outsiders to the group of training soldiers. In their isolation, they seemed predisposed to seek solitude in the same surroundings. Shang would think to set watch on a hill only to find Ping zealously attacking extra helpings at mealtimes. Ping would wander camp in the evenings to overhear the emperor's Consul bickering toward the Captain. Then they seemed to run across one another in various moments of unconstraint. Walking through the woods, Shang found Ping soundly asleep next to his horse—a look of acute disappointment on his face and a white-knuckled grip in the animal's mane. Ping saw a hunch of shoulders and a flash of pain and hurt after a particularly nasty comment from Chi-Fu.

The common ground didn't help Shang's opposition to this friendship. Both men were underdogs in their different roles. Both were placed firmly in the shadow of their fathers' military legacies. They both felt immense pride in being able succeed in and surpass their goals. They were determined, proud, intelligent, and honor-bound. A nod of approval, a clap on the shoulder, and words of encouragement when they were needed most—this was the start. Then there were training challenges, games of wit, and conversation amongst equals. By the time they reached the pass in the mountains, whether Shang liked it or not, Ping had earned his friendship.

By the time he had saved his life and flattened the Hun army—equal parts genius and insanity—Ping had earned his trust.

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(A/N: Hope you've liked this snippet as well. Obviously with a short length Disney flick it's difficult to really develop a relationship. I'm hoping to allude to a deep friendship while staying true to the story line. A few more short style chapters I think before moving on to more original content. Let me know what you think –Jack)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: No claim on characters, story, etc.

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Revelations

He hated it—this extreme swing of emotion. Over the setting of an afternoon sun, his elation turned to anxiety crashed to betrayal. How such an unassuming rustle of fabric could herald the shock he felt was surreal. Shang felt blind and foolish, and the taste was bitter.

But as Ping— _Mulan—_ was flung from the tent to the snow, his mind whispered loyalty and bravery and hero. Her words were desperate and hit home for Shang in ways that were too raw to ignore: "I did it to save my father". He reached for her sword and felt the wrongness in his bones. He was confused. Confused on how to deal with this, but he held no hesitation that she would live. Fa Mulan would not die by his hands or any other in his presence. Discipline steeled his expression and his command was closed for discussion.

She looked so small and broken crouched in the snow, a smallness that did not belong on Ping. He turned his back and marched away and the hatred bubbled anew. She lost his trust, and he lost his friend. He _left_ his friend.

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She hated it—the feeling of loss and being lost. It cut deeper than her failed matchmaking or father's rebuff. She was allowed the smallest glimpse of belonging, of a sense of self, before being brought lower than she thought possible. And worse than being left exposed in front of her comrades, was the clear pain and betrayal in Shang's expression.

But there were echoes of anger and stubbornness throughout the hollow feeling in her chest. The choices she had made were not choices at all. She saved her father and her friends and held no regrets. If the cost of their lives was the friendships she forged, her place among them, she would pay it a thousand times over. As the sun sank lower, her heart and mind warred over damning them for abandoning her and thanking the gods her life was sparred.

It seemed, however, that her part was not yet finished. The fires of purpose reemerged within her as the Huns did from the snow. Her horse raced towards the imperial city and Mulan knew her place more than ever. All emptiness and doubts were left with the winds of the Tung Shao pass.

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(A/N: reviews, as always, are appreciated—Jack)


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: No claim on characters, story, etc.

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Dinner

As it turned out, Shang was a rambler.

Partway through dinner, Mulan's spirited grandmother had made a thinly veiled innuendo about time spent in training. When a lively cricket chirp was the only thing to break the awkward silence, the embarrassed Captain chattered nervously and resolutely through all remaining pauses. It was adorable. And enlightening. Mulan thought his comments were streaming straight past any mental filter, and she found it more telling than months in camp and on the road. She chanced a look at her father and found the amusement in his eyes betraying his stern countenance. She sipped her tea to cover a smile.

As it turned out, Shang was _also_ a blusher. Only around the base of his neck, but still—he could feel it creeping up his skin. Again. He blamed Mulan and her ill-concealed smirk. Honestly, it was a wonder he had not discovered her on the first day; subtlety was not her strength. He knew silence would be preferable to the level of verbal blunder he was managing to achieve, but it seemed once he tried to correct himself, his predicament only worsened. It was also becoming apparent that Mulan had inherited her wry sense of humor from her father— _the_ Fa Zhou, military legend and witness to all said verbal blunders.

Mulan finally took pity on her Captain, and hinted that perhaps he was tired from the long journey. The response was immediate, the table cleared, and before he could really comprehend what had happened, Shang was agreeing to stay the evening as their guest. No excuses were heard by either Fa matriarch, and the two women went to prepare his room.

After her father excused himself, Shang found himself alone with Mulan for the first time that she _was_ Mulan. The silence stretched and a palpable tension rose between them.

"Perhaps a walk might be nice?" Mulan probed, hoping to ease some of the awkwardness. He nodded; relieved.

She couldn't fault him for being uneasy, after all she had always been aware of the difference between their genders. She had reasonably admired him as a woman admires a man. The physical appeal would be difficult for most women to ignore, but Ping's priority had to be discretion. Their tentative friendship was all she allowed herself, and she had treasured it however briefly. While it would never be the same, she was convinced that neither did it have to be so different.

"I'm sorry." Shang all but blurted.

He turned to face her squarely, and the damnable redness was returning to his neck. But the suddenness of his comment seemed to break Mulan free from some inner dialogue. She blinked at him owlishly, and the graceless gaping was so reminiscent of Ping, he felt himself marginally relax. Shang took a breath and formally inclined his head.

"I should never have allowed your shame in the pass and in the city. I should have heeded your warning and treated you with the respect— _deserved_ —of a fellow soldier."

He let his eyes drift up to hers but remained bowed. Mulan had managed to close her mouth but the blinking persisted. He straightened and said what had been on his mind for the entirety of a hard ride from the Imperial City.

"I trusted Ping. Mulan should have been no different."

A barrier seemed to break down between them. Mulan hid behind her hair as she returned his bow. Her eyes stung and she whispered a heartfelt "thank you".

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(A/N: So despite claims to have longer chapters in the future—I am quite pleased with how these have turned out so far and am enjoying the well rounded feel. It might be a trend. I've also read some pretty great fics recently that were told in 100 word chapters (author: forthright in the Inuyasha fandom deserves some credit). Comments/criticism are always appreciated—Jack)


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: No claim on characters, story, etc.

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Departure

Mulan lazily swiped at blurry eyes. It was the first time in a long time she had woken of her own accord and certainly the first time in recent history she had woken in her own bed pre-dawn. She rolled her head towards the exterior wall between her room and the family temple. She thought of Mushu and sighed.

The young warrior rose and stretched deliberately—sleep had not come easily last night. A frown tugged at her lips as the same disconnected feeling that chased away sleep, lingered in the early morning light. Her home should not feel foreign and the realization was uncomfortable. She decided a sojourn to the stables would be preferable to dwelling on that particular thought.

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A crisp morning breeze entered the stable through the opening doors. Two dark equine ears pricked forward in greeting before twitching in disappointment as someone distinctly _not Mulan_ entered. Shang's stallion chuffed happily at his master's arrival, which the captain returned with a quite "good morning to you too". He offered a similar greeting to Khan and proffered a hand for smelling. The handsome mount stared contemptuously for a moment but sniffed nonetheless. Khan even allowed a scratch of his ears while he investigated for treats. Finding the captain lacking, he resolutely turned his back and swished his tail. A feminine chuckle carried across the yard at the display. Khan nickered and all aloofness was forgotten.

"Good Morning." Mulan murmured to both her horse and her captain. Her hair was pulled from her face in a low tail and her voice still carried a rasp of sleep. The display inspired a feeling within Shang that was…incongruous. Her features were so familiar this way, but there was an intimacy that contrasted starkly with their numerous mornings spent in camp. Off balance, he was always off balance with her.

Mulan stifled a yawn before looking towards Shang's military-issued saddle. She wordlessly pointed to a basket of brushes near Shang and he obliged with a smirk. She had never been shy about her dislike of mornings. He passed her a brush and they each tended to their respective horses.

"Will you be leaving soon?"

"I don't think your grandmother would forgive me if I left before breakfast." Shang looked over across the stalls, but Mulan was resolutely concentrating on the burrs tangled in strands of black mane. "But I will leave shortly after, yes."

For a few moments nothing but the sounds of brushing filled the air.

"The Emperor has requested that I remain in the capitol. In the fall, new recruits will be called to replenish the army." Shang continued. "They will need training."

This time Mulan met his gaze, and returned Shang's own amused grin. "They should be honored to have an excellent, and patient, teacher." Mirth colored her tone and they finished their tasks in a companionable silence.

Before they entered the Fa household to gather for the morning meal, Shang tentatively confessed that her village was not far from his family home.

"On the way from the Imperial City, in fact."

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(A/N: Horses are legit and so are reviews. There will be a few Mulan-centric chapters to come—Jack)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: No claim on characters, story, etc.

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Adrift

Midday rays of light made red scales glitter like rubies, as Mushu sunned himself like the lizard he _did not_ resemble. He stretched his claws and gently scraped them against the rock he was perched atop and cracked one reptilian eye to regard his ward.

"Your grandmother's worried about you, you know? Prays almost as much as your father, and _no one_ is at the temple more than your father."

"And are you worried Mushu?" Mulan replied slyly, ignoring the implied question.

"Me? Sure. I'm worried my head's going to start spinning from all those prayers! Guardian's have to hear all the pleas of the family you know…" He sniped without much conviction.

She sighed gustily. "I know. But I can't help it; Grandma knows something is wrong as much as I do. The problem is, I'm not sure what."

It seemed that sudden returns in small villages were destined for gossip. Pair that with a prior reputation and her present change in appearance, and the rumor mill churned with a fury. Though it wasn't that Mulan minded. She had been the subject of many a whispered conversation and even applauded the ingenuity of several theories. It wouldn't take long for the truth to reach the countryside, and having already proved herself _to herself_ , she let their speculation roll off her like rain drops. No, her unease stemmed from something less finite, something that still eluded her.

She filled her days drinking tea with her father, preparing dinner with her mother, and basking in a reunion with her family she knew she had not been guaranteed. She completed her chores, continued her training, and prayed to her ancestors. Mulan wished for her family's health, their happiness, and for guidance for herself. Guidance, because regardless of how hard she strove for peace and the contentment she expected, she felt somehow unsteady. It seemed that while she had found herself, she lost where she belonged.

Her snarky guardian scurried out of sight as an age-worn voice called from the doorway.

"Mulan, would you help me put on some tea?" Her grandmother's tone was warm with affection but held an undertone the young woman couldn't place.

Mulan stood lithely and abandoned her indulgent position under the sun. Upon entering into her home, what she found instead was a room full of disquiet. Her war trained instincts wound up like a coiled spring, not sure what to expect but prepared for the worst. Her mother was the first to speak; voice steady and grave in equal measure.

"The matchmaker has requested you for a formal audience."

Worst indeed.

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(A/N: couple of mentions—this will be M for a reason, though much later in the story. If that's your thing, have patience. If that's not your thing, I'll put an additional disclaimer at the beginning of that chapter. Also, my nieces recently re-watched Mulan II with me, and I'd forgotten a lot of the plot, probably a repressed memory due to how utterly terrible I found it. That being said the title of this story does not pay tribute to the ying-yang necklace thing of the second movie! As always hope you enjoyed-Jack)


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: No claim on characters, story, etc.

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House Call

He admittedly recognized very little from the elegant dress, painted face, and coiffed hair. The bold eyes, clenched fists, and defiant tilt of the chin however, were _all_ Ping. The combined effect had Shang slack jawed and genuinely reconsidering his decision to stop by unannounced.

Mulan was in deep conversation with both her mother and father in the garden. Granny Fa, however, greeted the young Captain and saved him the necessity of interrupting what appeared to be a heated discussion.

"Prophetic timing young man." The elderly woman stated knowingly. Her tone hinted at a joke only she seemed privy to.

"Oh?" Shang replied dumbly, still staring fixedly at Mulan. Her cheeks were flushed from either rouge or the debate—he couldn't be sure from his current vantage point.

"Indeed. Mulan has been to see the matchmaker today."

"Oh." Shang repeated, with equal stupor. His gaze seemed to snap to attention once the meaning of her words sank in.

"I am certain it went significantly better than last time." She chuckled, feigning ignorance at her companion's shift in demeanor. "However, out-doing a small fire and public spectacle is not much of a feat, in and of itself." He thought for a moment she might be joking, but recalling some his first hand experience with Mulan's exploits, he reconsidered. "Though it seems that the matchmaker's good opinion won't much matter. Some quite flattering reports of my granddaughter have made their way down from the capital."

The Captain hung on every word, but to no avail. He was denied his chance at further inquiry when Mulan emerged through the doorway.

Mushu listened from behind a corner, thinking that for someone with such a pleasant disposition, Granny Fa had one seriously devious streak.

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Truly, neither the process nor the outcome was unexpected. Mulan had reluctantly agreed to the traditional make up and dress, and once more subjected herself to the matchmaker's scrutiny. The woman's blatant barbs rankled no less this time around.

She gracefully poured the tea, politely answered each query, and after a single snide comment slighting the honor of her house, Mulan's indignation boiled over. She stood unbidden, _spoke without permission_ , and told the matchmaker in no uncertain terms that she did not need a husband or an approved match to bring pride to her family.

"And should you choose to announce your verdict to the entire village like last time, please remember that you would be publicly denouncing one favored by the Emperor." The comment sounded undeniably haughty, but Mulan couldn't quite regret the feeling of vindication as she all but stormed out the door.

She walked home with a spring in her step and a decision on her mind. She knew in her heart that this resolution had been forming for some time, and while her parents did not view the announcement favorably, they acquiesced. With head held high and letters to write, Mulan entered her home with purpose.

Her unexpected guest was greeted with familiarity and a smile that dazzled—"Shang!"

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(A/N: Plot is gaining pace I hope-I know some of the developmental chapters can seem slow. I also tend to place description over dialogue which can be a bit daunting for some. Feedback of all forms is appreciated! -Jack)


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: No claim on characters, story, etc.

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Summons

Shang was happy to say that his second dinner at the Fa household went much smoother than the first. Mulan carried the conversation, Granny Fa behaved (mostly), and the telltale neck-blushing remained notably absent. There was a level of comfort and home in the atmosphere that made the young Captain ache for meals spent with his father.

"It might take quite some time for the Emperor to grace you with an audience—and he might not agree to hold one at all." Fa Zhou's comment held no reprimand but served to temper Mulan's animated plans. She had spent most of the evening meal discussing her intention to travel to the Imperial City.

"I might have a more expedient solution." Shang put in, and forced himself to remain at ease under the sudden scrutiny he fell under. He glanced a bit guiltily towards Mulan. "I came on behalf of the Emperor, to deliver a missive." At the continued stares he felt the rambling start to surface. "Well a summons really. If you choose to accept that is…"

Mulan saved him from further muttering when she thrust out her hand expectantly—"Well?"

Mulan's mother rolled her eyes. Granny Fa smirked. Fa Zhou sipped his tea, decidedly unruffled by his daughter's impatient and distinctly un-ladylike demeanor.

Shang laughed softly and surrendered the scroll. He studied her reaction as Mulan read through the contents and missed an approving look shared by the ladies of the household.

Mulan finished reading and looked intently at Shang.

"It is your choice." He reassured. The corners of her lips ticked up at the edges and she smoothed the folds of her dress.

"I will decide for certain in the morning, but I think…" she paused "I think I will accept." She finished more surely and passed the Emperor's scroll to her father. She remained silent while he read and waited for his approval.

His eyes seemed melancholy, but he nodded his agreement.

"Then I will leave in a fortnight".

" _We_ will leave in a fortnight". Shang clarified. "I am to be your escort."

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Two red scaled claws rubbed together in anticipation.

"Pack your bags Crik-ee! We're hitting the road!"

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(A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers! Your feedback is much appreciated and loved. A bit longer on the update, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter –Jack)


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